WELCOME TO VERY HAPPY PIG

Best Most Annoying Alarm Clock Ever!

What a god damn invention, think about it, you set your alarm clock for the day ahead. At the designated time the siren sounds and the propeller on the top of the clock takes flight. Mind your fingers!

Now you might say just press the snooze button and go back to sleep but that's not how this bad boy rolls! The propeller on the top of the clock has to be in place before the alarm disarms itself and the propeller could be anywhere in your room after her early morning flight!!

Very Happy Pig thinks this is absolutely genius!

Pigs Are Great Even When Dead!

The next time you have a cut or scrape, slap a strip of bacon on it...Sound ridiculous? Well, it is, but that doesn't mean you can't do it.

Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages are genuine sterile bandages that look like strips of raw bacon. Why purchase a pathetic Band-Aid when you can put some pork on your punctured pinky? (It took us two hours to write the previous line, but I think you'll agree it was worth it.)

Each Bacon Strip Bandage is 3" x 1" and is die-cut, so the edges are bacon-like, too. They come in decorative metal tin, and you get 15 bandages in each one. Plus, as an added bonus, there is a free toy inside each tin to help brighten your day.

VeryHappyPig says With something this stupid on your injury, you can't help but feel a little better.

Never Will There Be Any More Confusion!

Everybody claims to know how to tie a tie but do they really!! Our top gift will have you wondering no more, it's a tie with instructions on it for the perfect knot!

What a gift, this is brilliant and should be bought in the bulk load!

Very Happy Pig doesn't have a shirt!!

Best Towel Ever!! EVER!!!

Never will there be any confusion again when you step out of the shower with this absolute necessityty of a towel!

Looking at the towel it really speaks for itself!

Very Happy Pig doesn't have a shower!

Happy Toast! Very Impressive!

Impress and stun your friends when they visit with this great invention!

It's a toaster that burns prints on to your toasted bread! God life without this would be unlivable!

Think about trying to impress your new fling with a love hearted piece of toast!

Very Happy Pig is impressed, very impressed!

Mmm Poop!

Now we all love chocolate!

But what about some choclate drops from Santa friends!

The concept is simple, pull the reindeers tail and he will poop chocolate drops! "Brilliant"

Very Happy Pig loves chocolate poop!

Mmmm Relgion Never Taste So Good!!

A businessman in Germany has unveiled the success of his new venture selling chocolate jesus'. Frank Oynhausen says thousands of people have put in orders for the figures wrapped in gold foil.

He set up his 'Sweet Lord' chocolate Jesus business because he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany.

Mr Oynhausen is now custom-producing the chocolate Jesus figures and hopes, by Easter, to have a partnership with a mass producer.

'We're hoping to be able to export them around the world one day,' Mr Oynhausen said. He reckons there are parts of the United States where they will be especially popular. (So do I!!!!!)

Miss Piggy would certainly become more religious if there were cholcolate jesus' on offer........

A Green Hamster Wow Wow Wow!!!

Now if Isaac Newton or any mad brainiac invertors were still around they would have made this totally revolutionary environmentally friendly green paper shredder that month to shred!only runs on 1 hamster power!

Now lets say you want a piece of paper to meet its demise you just place it on top of this machine like a ordinary electric shredder but the green part of this is the blades on the shredder are connected to a hamsters running circle and when he runs around the paper shreds! He then uses the paper for his bed etc!

I know what your thinking WOW! And it will only take a A4 piece of paper around a

VerHappyPig is in a state of awe and needs a strong cup of coffee and a drop of whiskey in it to relax after this amazing find!

Veryhappypigs Facts!

1.Joachim Patinier (1475-1524,) a leading flemish painter went through his entire life without washing or taking a bath.

2.People lose about 4.5 pounds of skin and hair every year.

3.The Ancient Egyptians believed that eating cabbage prevented drunkness and actually built temples to honour the Vegetables!

4.Every minute 300 million body cells die and new healthy cells replace them on our body.

5.If all our blood vessels in our body were placed end to end they would stretch over 12,000miles!

VeryPappyPigs facts you never know when you might need them! More than likely never!

A Piggy Fact About Golf

Did you know that Golf actually stands for Gentleman Only, Ladies Forbidden.

Ah that's good old fashioned sexiest views for ya!

VeryHappyPig is both genders!